Mike seems like the kind of guy it would be cool to sit down and have a few beers with. For now, he just gives me a pill to swallow and asks me questions about how much sleep I've had and whether I've used any drugs lately.
At the end of the four-hour session, I fill out a form that asks 90 questions about my experience on the drug. Did I have auditory hallucinations? Did I black out? Did I experience a shifting perception of time?
No. No. No.
Clearly, I am not getting the good shit.
Mike asks me pro forma questions about my experience on the drug.
"What do you think you took?"
"A placebo."
"How much would you say it affected you, on a scale of 1 to 5?"
"With 1 being 'not at all'?"
"Right. A 1 is 'little to no perceptible effect.' "
"Then I give it a 1."
"And would you want more of this drug?"
"Of the placebo?"
"Yes."
"Sure, go nuts."